Monday, June 29, 2009

We Finally Got the Swine Flu! While Mike is Away on Vacation! Yippeeeeeee!

For the past three months we've been hearing about swine flu constantly on the news and reading about it nonstop in the papers. Not ones to be left out or behind the times, we've tried diligently to catch the flu in an effort to see if it lives up to all the hype. Unfortunately, our efforts failed and we didn't even catch a cold.

Considering that my family attends three separate schools, this was even more surprising. Especially when we found out that Mike's school, our very own Eisenhower Jr High, received the amazing distinction of being the school with the fastest growing rate of swine flu IN THE NATION!!!! Yes! This is no puny city award, or even state award. This is a NATIONAL award. Of all the schools in the nation, swine flu spread the fastest at my husband's place of employment. We were quite proud to be part of this statistic! And alas, we still couldn't catch the Swine Flu.

Stifling our disappointment, we went back to living our lives. This included Mike going on a 10 day trip to Washington DC. Since he was the only one at Eisenhower who didn't catch the flu, by default he was invited to go on a trip back east to some boring history conference. I didn't pay attention to the details. The only thing I paid attention to was the fact that I would be alone with two children for 10 DAYS. Yikes.

As a side note, Mike never has to worry that I'll leave him. Single motherhood is definitely not for me. And if HE ever wants to leave, he's going to have to do some pretty slick bargaining.

So Mike went on his trip and the kids and I settled in for a long winter's nap. Ha ha, just kidding. It's almost 2 am and I know that didn't make sense, but I'm too tired to care.

Actually, I spent the entire time Mike was gone trying to ensure that he'd never leave again. I signed the kids up for swimming lessons. Volunteered Mike for a few babysitting/church cleaning jobs. Got a new kitten. Took the kids to a scary movie (really, it was only UP, but those dogs were pretty frightening!). And, best of all, drumroll please.....

WE GOT THE SWINE FLU!!!!

Yay! All of our hard work from the previous month finally paid off. We got the flu and got it good. Well, actually I got the flu. The kids seem to have miraculously avoided it, although it looked like they were showing signs too. And all kidding aside, it's wonderful that they managed to avoid it. This is not something I'd wish on them. Even when they decide to paint the new kitten's tail green "just to see what would happen."

So far I have to say that the flu ain't all it's cracked up to be. Of course having said that I'm fully expecting to end up in the hospital. But for now, at least, it hasn't been that bad. Sure there were a few hours when I just wanted to die. But they passed, and since then it hasn't been much worse than a bad cold. And hopefully this means I'll be immune when the swine flu mutates and hits us this winter. Yippeeeee again!

Mike comes home tomorrow. Other than when the 5-inch wide spider crawled out of a hole in the brick outside our house blocking my entrance and causing me to scream for a full 3 minutes, I have never been more excited to see my wonderful husband. I plan on handing him the reins, climbing into bed with a good book, and locking the door for about 3 days. I've stockpiled honey nut cheerios, chocolate, and diet Coke, so my nutritional needs are taken care of. And I've created a rope ladder so if I need to leave I can just use the window.

I'll leave him to deal with the new kitten, too. His official name is Jedi Edward Door Ding. I would explain, but instead I'll leave you to guess.

In fact, this sounds like a fun contest. Whoever correctly guesses the origin of each name will get a fabulous prize. And I promise it won't involve Swine Flu.

5 comments:

Salina said...

I thought there was a "Jasper" in there somewhere too??
Hope you are feeling better soon! I've never heard someone get SO excited about getting the flu...you seriously CRACK me up!

Julie said...

I'm so sorry! My nephews out there in West Jordan are just getting over it. It's been pretty rampant up there. Hpoe you guys all feel better soon!

Stacy S said...

Steph, I'm dying over here! I too, fully expect to get the swine flu and end up in the hospital. Because that's how things happen at my house too. I'm surprised it hasnt happened yet. Although I had a dream last night that I had the flua nd couldn't breathe... I love you blog- would you blog more often already? I need the laughter!

The Genta Family said...

Oh Steph, I don't even know what to say. I hope you are now feeling better and I hope that Mike is bonding with the new kitten.

Janzen said...

I think it is time for an update!!!